


I Swear On Your Name

by joji94



Category: Monsta X (Band), 걸어 | All in - Monsta X (Music Video)
Genre: All in fic, Dystopia, Hallucinations, Homophobic Language, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Suicide, Mystic Jooheon, Recreational Drug Use, as per the mv, mentions of abuse, not major, oblivious changki, side hyunghyuk - Freeform, side showho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 13:40:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20471936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joji94/pseuds/joji94
Summary: Changkyun begins to notice things. He wonders if anyone else has too.





	I Swear On Your Name

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello I am new and soft, please be kind
> 
> I’ve always wanted a good, Changki centric All In fic. So I made one. Please enjoy :)
> 
> Beta’d by dirtyretro (yes, THE dirtyretro) who helped encourage me to get this written

The cold, dry air burns Changkyun’s lungs as he walks up the path to the orphanage. He knew the other boys would be home by now and if he took too much longer, they’d begin to worry about him. The sun sets early these days and breaking curfew is not an option. The soldiers would not be lenient just because he was a kid. 

It’s a Tuesday, Ritual night. The whole group made sure to have dinner together, then spend the night dancing in their minds. Jooheon always looked forward to it most. He led the Rituals, it made sense that he was most excited.

Changkyun walks into the orphanage to a familiar scene: Minhyuk teasing Hyungwon relentlessly in the living room with Jooheon laughing at them. Hyunwoo isn’t home yet, but he was probably on his way home from work; as the oldest, he made sure the others kept going. Kihyun and Hoseok were in the kitchen together, working on dinner. Savory smells hit Changkyun’s nose and he follows the scent. 

“Kihyunnie! I promise I won’t ruin dinner, just let me help you!” Hoseok whines petulantly. Every night that he was home early enough, he tried to help with dinner, much to Kihyun’s obvious annoyance. Kihyun always insisted he didn’t need help. Changkyun has told Hoseok he needed to be subtler. On nights that Hoseok isn’t home early enough, Changkyun helps in the kitchen, starting with just keeping Kihyun company and then slowly starting to get ingredients for him, stirring something while Ki mixed something else. If Kihyun didn’t notice the help right away, he was more accepting of it. 

Kihyun shifts his crutches and levels Hoseok with a glare. “I don’t need your help, Hyung, I can manage just fine on my own.” Usually, trying to help Kihyun would result in a full-blown lecture about how him being disabled didn’t mean he constantly needed help. Honestly, Changkyun thought Minhyuk and Hyungwon were the smart ones, never venturing into the kitchen until Kihyun called for dinner time. 

“Hey Kyunnie, how was your walk?” Kihyun asks when he noticed Changkyun. Changkyun flushes at the nickname, as he always does, and thinks about how it was. 

“Did you see any cute puppies?” Hoseok asks excitedly. He knows why Changkyun goes for walks.

“Not any puppies today but I saw some cats. Too bad Hyunwoo-Hyung is allergic, I would love to give them a good, loving home. We could use the happiness a cat would bring too.”

“Speaking of Hyung, he’s running late. Isn’t he usually home by now? Curfew is coming up!” Minhyuk calls from the living room. Now that Changkyun thinks about it, Hyunwoo is usually home from work by now. Him and Hoseok, being the two oldest, both had odd jobs around town. Hoseok worked as a mechanic, fixing things and sometimes trying to design new ideas. Hyunwoo worked a less regular job. He usually did grounds keeping at the military base in the center of town. They don’t pay well and degrade him constantly, but his uncle is stationed there and got him the job. 

“His uncle is sick again, he had to take him to the hospital.” Hoseok calls back. Hyunwoo’s uncle had been dealing with a deep cough, one that was persistent and usually brought up blood and bile. Changkyun shudders just thinking about it. 

“Well, he better be back for dinner. It’s Tuesday, Ritual night. We never miss Ritual night” Jooheon points out. 

“I’m sure he’ll be back in time,” Kihyun sighs. “We’ve never missed Ritual night. And besides, he knew I was making ramen for dinner and he loves ramen almost as much as Hoseok-Hyung.” Hoseok beams at the mention of ramen and Changkyun rolls his eyes, affectionately. He notices that he’s managed to wiggle his way into helping Kihyun by making rice, and Changkyun nods towards him, motioning that Hoseok took his advice. Hoseok winks back and continues with the task at hand. 

Right as Kihyun calls for dinner, Hyunwoo comes through the door. “Hyung! It’s almost curfew and you almost missed Ritual night dinner!” Jooheon whines. He’s currently carrying the bowls and chopsticks to the table, while Hoseok carries the ramen and Changkyun brings the rice. Kihyun hobbles in and smiles softly at Hyunwoo when he sees him. The soft smile makes Changkyun’s heart twinge for reasons he definitely doesn’t want to think about. 

“I’m sorry, uncle was admitted to the hospital and I had to stay to fill out the paperwork for him. The hospital gave me a pass for curfew, but luckily, I didn’t run into any soldiers. You know they don’t care if you have a pass, they’d have roughed me up anyways” Hyunwoo tells them. 

“Oh, do you think it’s worse than last time?” Minhyuk asks carefully. Hyungwon shifts next to him and looks up at Hyunwoo with those doe eyes. Changkyun has noticed Hyungwon is more quiet than usual. He’s sitting closer to Minhyuk as well, and Changkyun wonders how many bruises are underneath his shirt. 

Unlike the rest of the boys, Hyungwon is not a true orphan. He’s part of their little family in all the ways that matter, but his parents are both still alive and in town, they’re just military and heavily abusive. Hyungwon stays with the orphans more often than not, and his parents never seem to really notice his absence, until they get belligerent and have nothing to hit. Some days, Hyungwon goes home and returns a few days later, silent, and just goes up to Minhyuk’s room and stays there.

“Uncle is very sick this time, I’m really worried,” Hyunwoo sighs. Hoseok sits down and motions for Hyunwoo to sit next to him. Once he does, he puts a comforting arm around his shoulders. “We’ll find a way, we always do,” he tells Hyunwoo with a gentle kiss pressed to his temple. Changkyun’s eyes automatically flit to Kihyun, who is distracted with his crutches trying to maneuver into his chair. Changkyun rounds the table hastily and pulls Kihyun’s chair out for him, helping him settle into it and placing his crutches against the wall. The other boys pretend not to notice Kihyun’s struggle, and Kihyun sighs gratefully at that. 

“Thank you, Kyunnie,” he says softly and smiles brightly at Changkyun. Changkyun merely flushes and takes his seat next to him. Jooheon says a short prayer, and they dig in. Changkyun can’t help but notice, as usual, Kihyun did not bow his head or pray with them. Since the abandonment of the orphanage and subsequently the abandonment of the orphans, Kihyun had prayed less and less. He used to put on a farce and pretend at dinner times, but lately he doesn’t even do that. Changkyun thinks he is the only one to notice.

After dinner, Jooheon leads the boys out back to the greenhouse. They grow their own vegetables in the greenhouse, knowing that the ones in the market are sold for a much higher price than they can afford and Kihyun had insisted that the boys needed vegetables, even though they were all nearly full grown. The greenhouse had another purpose though. Ritual night meant something different happened there. 

Jooheon tells them he already has the broth made up as Hyunwoo lighs the fire in the middle. Once again, Hyunwoo and Hoseok sit together, closer than usual, Changkyun notes. As usual, Minhyuk and Hyungwon are draped over each other, and Changkyun helps Kihyun to sit on the log next to him. Jooheon divvies out the mix, mumbles some words in a language Changkyun doesn’t understand, and they drink.

When Changkyun opens his eyes again, he doesn’t know if what he’s seeing is real or part of the hallucinations. The mixture Jooheon gives them every Tuesday night is made from Delphinium flowers, and it has a strong hallucinogenic quality. Hoseok and Hyunwoo seem to be leaning into each other and sharing stories softly. Changkyun wonders what secrets they are telling. Minhyuk and Hyungwon have slipped off their log and are laying, cuddling, behind it, mostly out of sight except for the shock of Minhyuk’s white hair. Changkyun smiles, happy they have each other to provide happiness in these dark times.

A hand on his face draws his attention away. Kihyun has the paints and is faintly tracing lines on Changkyun’s face. He sighs contentedly and closes his eyes, allowing Kihyun to paint as he pleases. After a few minutes, the feeling of soft lips pressing against his own startles his eyes open, but Kihyun is already pulling away and resting his forehead against Changkyun’s, softly breathing the same air as him. Usually, Kihyun is clingy and affectionate with Changkyun during the Ritual (Changkyun likes to call it just getting high, but Jooheon had scoffed, offended, and claimed the Ritual was a much better and cleaner high than simply smoking weed) but he had never outright kissed him. Changkyun looks at Kihyun’s closed eyes and wonders what is going through his head right now, and slowly tips his face in to kiss Kihyun again.

Kihyun welcomes the kiss with a fire that Changkyun wasn’t expecting. They had always been close, the two with similar stories, the two smallest, the happy pair, but since Kihyun’s accident, Kihyun had been withdrawn and rarely showed emotion. To be kissing him with the same passion Changkyun felt in his own heart was astounding. Changkyun’s hand slides into Kihyun’s hair and Kihyun makes a soft, keening noise in the back of his throat. He pulls away to look into Kihyun’s hazy eyes and realizes they are both high, and this realization made his heart drop. What if Kihyun was only kissing him because his thoughts were inhibited and he didn’t really mean any of this? What if in the morning, he goes back to his regular, withdrawn self, quiet and pensive? What if he pretends this never happened?

“I can hear you thinking so hard your head is gonna pop off,” Kihyun mutters against Changkyun’s lips. “Please, hold me,” he whimpers and Changkyun wraps his arms around him and does. 

When they stumble back to the house for the night, still riding the high, Changkyun watches Hyungwon follow Minhyuk into his room, as usual. Jooheon has already gone to his room, exhausted from the bout of mysticism. Hoseok tells them he is going to make a pot of coffee and Hyunwoo says he’ll stay and have a cup with him, so Changkyun helps Kihyun up the stairs to his room. Once he gets him settled into bed, crutches within reach, he turns to go to his own room. 

“Kyun,” Kihyun calls softly, “will you stay in here tonight? I think-“ he hesitates. A deep breath, and he continues, “I think I won’t sleep well, despite the Ritual, and I want to cuddle.” Changkyun merely nods and settles in on the other side. Kihyun backs into him and Changkyun wraps his arms around his waist, holding his hyung gently. “Good night, Kyunnie,” Kihyun sighs, “I love you.”

Changkyun stirs early in the morning, before anyone else, he is sure. Kihyun is usually the first to rise, and he is still sleeping soundly with his head on Changkyun’s chest. His heart speeds up at the image, and Kihyun starts to stir. Of course, Changkyun’s racing heart would be loud enough to wake Kihyun up. He watches as Kihyun’s eyelids flutter and slowly open, blinking slowly and looking around.

“Changkyun?” he mumbles softly. “I’m glad you stayed all night, I was afraid you’d go back to your own room once I fell asleep.”  
“Never, you said you needed me, I’m always here,” Changkyun tells him as he presses a kiss into his hair. Kihyun twists to attempt to lean up to kiss Changkyun properly.  
“I’m so glad I finally get to do this. I can’t believe it took a Ritual to give me the courage,” He tells Changkyun. This confession makes Changkyun do a double take and look down at his sleepy Hyung.  
“What do you mean, finally? I thought you had a soft spot for Hyunwoo all this time,” Changkyun admits.  
“Hyunwoo? No, never! He’s like my older brother! I asked him for advice on how to show you how I felt and he told me a Ritual was a safe time. Being under the influence, if you didn’t react positively I could claim to forget it happened. I can’t believe you reacted positively though, I’d have never guessed.” The pair bask in the soft glow of the morning light filtering in through the cracked window before Kihyun sighs and starts getting up, needing to get breakfast going for the hungry boys. Mornings after a Ritual meant everyone was always a little droopy and very hungry, and Kihyun liked to get a head start.

Changkyun follows him down the stairs and into the kitchen, silently helping. After a few minutes, the smells start drifting through the orphanage, waking some of the boys. Minhyuk came down the stairs, practically dragging a near-asleep Hyungwon. Hyungwon was a difficult riser on a good day, but the day after a Ritual, he would sleep nearly all day if Min let him. A few minutes later, Jooheon follows, rubbing his eyes, the smell of weed faintly following him.

Kihyun rolls his eyes at the sleepy trio and turns to Changkyun, “breakfast is ready, why don’t you go check on the other two and try to get them awake. They have to eat before they can go to work.” Changkyun nods, motions to Jooheon that he wants a hit too, then goes up the stairs to wake the resident “adults”. Hoseok’s room is the first one on the left. He knocks quietly and slowly opens the door, ready to gently wake him. Upon entering the room, however, Changkyun is greeted with the sight of an empty bed. This was weird. Maybe Hoseok went to work early, Changkyun thinks, shrugging as he continues down the hall. The hit he took from Jooheon is making him feel light and a little hazy. Joo is right, this isn’t as clean as the high from the Ritual, but it’s a nice booster between Tuesdays.

When he reaches Hyunwoo’s room, at the end of the hall, he knocks again, and opens the door. Once he sees what is in the room, he gasps loudly. Hoseok and Hyunwoo are cuddled up together, seemingly naked. His gasp wakes them up as well as draws attention from the boys’ downstairs.  
“Kyunnie?” Minhyuk calls up, “what’s wrong?” Hyunwoo moves his hand in a slashing motion across his throat.  
“N-nothing!” Changkyun says, eyes never leaving Hyunwoo’s. “We’ll be right down!” He moves into Hyunwoo’s room and shuts the door, eyeing them warily.  
“This isn’t what it looks like,” Hyunwoo starts, but Hoseok cuts him off, hissing, “it’s exactly what it looks like, don’t lie to the kid! He spent the night in Ki’s room, he’s not innocent!”  
“We just cuddled!” Changkyun says, affronted. “We just barely confessed our feelings and haven’t told anyone yet! You two seem like this is a regular thing!”

Hyunwoo nods slowly, confirming what Changkyun had thought. “How long?” Changkyun asks. “Since before Minhyuk came to the orphanage,” Hoseok admits. Minhyuk still had memories of his family, he wasn’t raised in the orphanage from birth like Kihyun and Changkyun were. But still, he had come to the orphanage at least five years ago.  
“You’ve been sleeping together for five years?!” Changkyun whisper yells, astounded. Hyunwoo rapidly shakes his head, “no no no, we fell in love five years ago, we only started sleeping together about two years ago.” Changkyun makes a noise and mutters “too much info” before finally looking back up and meeting their eyes, blush still evident.

“Well, Ki finished breakfast and says you two have to eat before you go to work so make yourselves presentable and come down for breakfast, gosh I am too high for this,” he says as quickly as he can before leaving the room and heading down for breakfast.

When he reaches the bottom of the stairs, the full effects of the weed finally seep in, making him feel sluggish and weirdly relaxed about the secret he just discovered. Rounding the corner into the kitchen, he sees that Minhyuk is setting the food out while Jooheon sets the table and Hyungwon is... is he asleep in his chair? Changkyun just shakes his head and makes eye contact with Kihyun, who offers him a small smile. Forgetting that everyone else is in the room too, Changkyun helps Kihyun into his chair and leans down to kiss the top of his head. Jooheon and Minhyuk immediately stop talking and Jooheon even drops his chopsticks.

“What?” Changkyun asks them. “You just…. You just kissed Kihyunnie on the head,” Minhyuk whispers. Immediately, Changkyun’s face heats up and he glances at Kihyun, noting his bright red face.  
“I… no… I just…” Changkyun stutters before Minhyuk cuts him off with a laugh. “It’s okay Kyun, you two have always been obvious about how you feel about each other. And none of us are going to judge, you know that. Hyungwon and I have been in love since… since I had a family” Minhyuk tells him, forcing a smile at the end. Changkyun merely nods and fills his plate as Hoseok and Hyunwoo come down the stairs to join them.

“Ah, discussing how Kihyunnie and Changkyunie finally admitted their love for each other?” Hoseok jokes as he takes his seat between Jooheon and Hyunwoo. As he fills up his plate, Jooheon leans in, narrows his eyes, widens them with realization and shouts, “Hyung! You have a hickey on your neck! Where did you go after the Ritual last night?” Hoseok’s face immediately flushes and he begins stuttering. Hyunwoo’s gentle hand covers Hoseok’s, and he tells them calmly, “Hoseokkie and I have been together for about five years. We’re sorry we hid it from you, but you guys were all children and when you were old enough to understand, we thought it would be awkward to bring up. Now, we’re out in the open, like Min and Won.”

Everyone stayed silent for half a second before Minhyuk cheers and shouts, “It’s a win for love! Changkyun and Ki, Hoseok and Hyunwoo, Me and Won! Your turn Joo!” Jooheon simply scoffs and says something about being too busy with the mystic part of his life to worry about something as stupid as love. The only sound that fills the room after is the sounds of everyone eating. 

Hyunwoo and Hoseok get ready for work, say goodbye to everyone, and are on their way. Minhyuk and Hyungwon have classes today, so they gather their things and head into town. There are still free classes for people to learn to read and write and sometimes do basic arithmetic. Jooheon says he must head a town over and get some supplies, he might not be back tonight. He tells Kihyun not to wait up for him, ignoring the worried look in his eyes, and heads out the back door into the forest. Jooheon often leaves for days at a time, citing his mystic lifestyle, but it doesn’t stop Kihyun from worrying. After everyone leaves and the kitchen is cleaned up, Kihyun settles on the couch for a morning nap, and Changkyun sits quietly with his thoughts.

Changkyun grew up in the orphanage. He has no memory of any life before it, and when the place was abandoned and the boys found all of the records, he discovered that he was left on the front step with a note that simply read “Changkyun, 3 months old. Please raise him well”. It had never bothered him that he didn’t know who his parents were. Most likely, he was a second child, illegal here. Maybe his parents just couldn’t afford him. Maybe his mom was a single mom, although she wouldn’t have waited three months to drop him off, based on Kihyun’s story.

Kihyun was dropped off when he was less than 24 hours old. His mom was a teenager, raped in the streets by soldiers. Being a teenage single mom was highly frowned upon, almost as much as being gay was. No one would have cared that she was raped, she simply was viewed as trash. During the last few months of her pregnancy, she had hidden away, claiming illness. She delivered her baby boy, alone, in a bathtub, and immediately took him to the orphanage. She didn’t leave him on the step, as Changkyun’s parents did, she knocked, told the nuns her story, and asked that they take the boy and give him to a loving home. She hadn’t even named him, and she sobbed leaving him there. The nuns chose the name Kihyun, meaning “never be afraid to show your foundation” as they knew he had a sad beginning and could make it his own. 

Growing up, it didn’t bother him that he was an orphan. Besides, when he was still a baby, Changkyun came along too, and they grew up together. When they were about 5 and 6, Jooheon came too, then Hoseok and Hyunwoo when their parents were killed in the war. Minhyuk was the last to join them, when he was 13 and had lost his parents too. Around that time was when Kihyun started sneaking into the nun’s area trying to figure out his past, see if they knew his mom’s name. Not only did she never give her name, he read his entire file and came to Changkyun sobbing. His father was some brutal soldier, probably Japanese, not even Korean, and Kihyun was devastated. Changkyun slept curled up in his bed with him as he sobbed himself to sleep, thinking the next day would be better.

He was wrong.

He woke up the next morning to the bed empty beside him. This was not unusual. Kihyun had always been an early riser and he liked to help the nuns with breakfast. Changkyun slowly rose, stretched, and headed down the stairs to the kitchen. The nuns were bustling around, but Kihyun was nowhere in sight. Just when he opened his mouth to ask if they’d seen him, there was a blood curdling scream outside and a thump right out the door. Changkyun ran to the door and yanked it open, revealing Kihyun, laying in a heap, screaming and sobbing. He was hospitalized for weeks, funds raised across the town for the sweet orphan boy with a broken back. 

Luckily, he wasn’t paralyzed. He’ll never have full function of his legs again though, making him ineligible for work. He could only help their little family by keeping the house running. Cooking to make sure everyone didn’t go hungry, cleaning to keep out germs and potential illnesses, nursing them back to health when one did get ill. He did his best, despite his injuries.

Jooheon returns, surprisingly, that afternoon, right before Minhyuk and Hyungwon. He tells them he has to go back after dinner, but he wanted some of Kihyun’s cooking before he left for a couple days again. Kihyun just smiled, happy Jooheon was back for a little bit.

“Hey, Hyunwoo is gonna head to the hospital later, why don’t we go into town and hang out all together under the bridge like we used to?” Minhyuk suggests, “Won needs some new shoes and Jooheon is always going on about a little booth on the edge of the market, maybe he can take Won to look at them?” The boys all agree and head into town, intercepting both Hyunwoo and Hoseok on the way. Hyunwoo says he needs new shoes as well, so him, Jooheon, and Hyungwon head to the booth while Changkyun, Kihyun, Minhyuk, and Hoseok head to their spot under the bridge. Changkyun starts absentmindedly drawing a hopscotch pattern while Kihyun and Minhyuk bicker back and forth. 

After half an hour of drawing in the dirt, the other three return, out of breath and exhilarated. Hyunwoo explains what happened, while Jooheon and Hyungwon catch their breath.  
“Some soldiers came up, wanting to see the old men’s permit while we were there. As they were searching for their permit, the soldiers started shouting and throwing the shoes. We intervened, cause we’re the orphans, and Jooheon put one of their guns right up to his head and challenged them! Hyungwon gave one a flower, you know, peace and all that but then the old men found their permit and the soldiers huffed and left. I didn’t know Jooheon could be that brave!”

Kihyun glowers at Jooheon and begins scolding him, but Changkyun has noticed movement on the other side of their area. Religious fanatics. Leading them was a military officer holding a bible. Hyungwon’s dad. Changkyun would recognize him anywhere. Kihyun notices them and slid closer to Changkyun, and Changkyun instinctively wraps his arms around him and presses a kiss to his temple. Hyungwon’s dad’s eyes flash.

“Still hanging out with this trash are you, son? Bunch of fags, sinning and frolicking. The lord says you will marry a woman and not lay with a man. Who are these vagrants to convince you to join their ways? They have no family, they barely can hold down jobs. One is crippled. Why don’t you come back home? Now.” His tone is commanding, and Hyungwon stands slowly, walks towards him, and raises his eyes sharply.

“Don’t talk about my friends this way! They do have a family. They have each other, which is more than what I have!” Unexpectedly, the bible comes down across Hyungwon’s face. His head whips to the side and Kihyun audibly gasps. Hoseok makes to step forward, but Hyunwoo places a hand on his arm, holding him back. The boys know showing signs of aggression to the religious or the military would not end well.

“Do not speak to me in this manner. You will come home, now, and you will leave these fags and not return to their crumbling ‘home’. At once, son.” Hyungwon follows his dad the other way, glancing briefly back at Minhyuk, apologies written clearly in his eyes.

Hyunwoo was acting shady. Changkyun had noticed it. Again, he wondered who else had. Maybe Hoseok, he was perceptive of Hyunwoo’s moods and actions. When they left for work the next morning, the atmosphere was tense. Minhyuk left, not even pretending he was going to his lessons. Changkyun knew he didn’t sleep the night before. Min’s room shared a wall with Kihyun’s, and Kihyun and Changkyun had heard him sobbing all night. They knew he was headed to Hyungwon’s house.

Jooheon had left when they returned home the night before and wasn’t back yet. Changkyun knew Kihyun worried when he left like this, but he always came back, safe and sound, so Changkyun didn’t worry as much.

Hours later, Minhyuk returned with a clearly injured Hyungwon. Kihyun rushed to find first aid supplies as Changkyun helped Minhyuk get Hyungwon up the stairs and into Min’s room. “His father,” Minhyuk explains quietly. Hyungwon merely shivers and keeps his eyes down, trying to hide the bruising on his face. Changkyun nods, silent, and helps get Hyungwon changed as Kihyun comes into the room with bandages. Once Hyungwon falls asleep, Minhyuk tells them what happened.

“His father beat him within an inch of his life. I found him at their house, his face covered with a mask, hiding from me. I snuck him out the window, but I’m retaliating tonight. Changkyun, I might need your help. Hoseok’s too.” Kihyun began to protest Changkyun’s involvement in anything dangerous, but Changkyun already agreed. He couldn’t sit back anymore and watch it happen. They come up with a plan, and when Hoseok gets home, they head out, under the cover of darkness.

Lighting up the military base is probably not the smartest idea they’ve ever come up with. Changkyun knows Kihyun is home with Hyungwon, sick with worry, but he shoves that thought from his mind and follows Minhyuk and Hoseok, pouring gasoline all over Hyunwoo’s great lawn work. They feel guilty for as long as it takes for the flames to ignite, and then they’re running into the bushes, watching the flames soar into the sky.

Exhilarated, they run home and find Kihyun sitting in the living room, fear in his eyes and tears streaming down his cheeks. Changkyun goes to him immediately, comforting him, trying to figure out what he’s so scared of. Minhyuk runs up the stairs to check on Hyungwon and Hoseok searches for Hyunwoo.

“Hey guys, where is Hyunwoo?” He asks when he gets back to the living room. “I’ve searched the house and it’s past curfew, he’d be back from the hospital by now.”

Kihyun looks up and whispers, “they came for him. They said he robbed a shop and burned a portion of the hospital. The soldiers came and took him away.”

A horrible scream wakes Changkyun from his fitful sleep, reminding him of the day Kihyun leapt from the roof. He jumps up, realizes Kihyun is sitting up next to him, and runs to the source of the scream, Minhyuk’s room. The scene makes him nauseous. Hyungwon had tried to drown himself. It appears Minhyuk was just in time, both of them are soaking wet, sitting in the tub together, sobbing, alive. Kihyun hobbles in after a few minutes and sinks to the floor, overwhelmed with memories.

Hoseok remains the calmest. He pulls the boys from the tub, tells them to change, tells them he’s going to go get Hyunwoo out of prison, tells them they’ll be fine. Changkyun is glad he isn’t one of the oldest. He’s not sure he could handle the pressure Hoseok is under right now.

After everyone calms down and Kihyun starts breakfast, Hoseok heads into town. Changkyun doesn’t know how he plans to get Hyunwoo back home, but Hoseok does nothing without a plan.

Jooheon returns, supplies in hand. He claims he had a vision, and will wait until the oldest two return to tell them about it. Minhyuk quietly tells him that Hyunwoo has been arrested, but Jooheon doesn’t seem phased by this, and tells them he is sure they will arrive together, and that his news is good.

Not even an hour later, Hoseok comes through the door, grim faced, but with Hyunwoo in tow. All the boys clamor for an explanation, but Jooheon slowly stands and starts speaking.

“Hyunwoo’s uncle needed surgery to live. Money Hyunwoo didn’t have. He robbed a store to get the cash and rushed back to the hospital, only to find that he’d been too late, Uncle had died.” Hyunwoo made a confused noise, but Jooheon shushed him and moved on. “He tried to burn the hospital down in his grief, the same way you three tried to burn down the military base, difference being he was unsuccessful and was arrested. Hyungwon tried to die. Minhyuk’s love saved him, and he is still with us. Much how Changkyun’s love saved Kihyun all those years ago.” Kihyun looked up sharply and Jooheon leveled him with a steady stare. 

“Hoseok had been saving up to buy a house farther away from the military base. Farther away from Hyungwon’s parents, a few towns over, and he used that money to bail Hyunwoo out.” Hoseok nodded morosely and Jooheon continued before he could speak, “good news, brothers. A few towns over, I bought a house. We can escape the fanatics, we can get jobs that pay well because we won’t be the orphan boys, some places will even hire Kihyun because he has a sharp mind. We can live openly. We can be free.”

Silence hangs in the air. Slowly, Hyungwon lifts his head and whispers, “Please, we can be free, let’s go.”

With that, the boys all cheer and begin packing their few belongings. When they are ready to leave, he looks around the orphanage. The place he grew up. The place he found his family. The place he fell in love. He was finally leaving. As he walks out the door, he makes eye contact with Kihyun, who beams brightly at him.

Under the shadow of the falling ash, the boys make their escape. They walk quickly, broken up into groups to avoid drawing the attention of the soldiers. Jooheon leads the way with Minhyuk and a slightly limping Hyungwon. Hoseok had taken Kihyun in case he needed carrying, which left Hyunwoo and Changkyun. Changkyun wasn’t good with words, he didn’t know how to express his sorrow to Hyunwoo for the loss of his uncle, or the shock at what lengths he had gone to ensure his health. He opts for an uneasy silence that stretches for a few minutes before Hyunwoo breaks it.

“It’s okay to not see me as the same man after what I did, Kyun. I know it was bad, and you’re still young and impressionable, but I did something wrong.” Changkyun ponders his words and tells him the truth. “I might have done the same though. Being in your situation, not knowing that Hoseok was saving to get out of this town, feeling helpless. I know I’d do something drastic if Ki needed it, without a doubt.”

Hyunwoo appears shocked by Changkyun’s revelation, but nods slowly. He stops where he was. Changkyun turns around to ask him if he is okay and is immediately engulfed into a massive hug, one only Hyunwoo, their oldest, their leader, the father figure could give. “Thanks, Kyunnie,” he sighs. “I really needed to hear that. I’m glad Kihyun has you. He’s needed someone who will be there for him, always.” Changkyun chuckles lightly, “I’m all in on Ki. I can’t imagine what I’d do without him.”

Silence stretches on as they climb the gates and make their way out of town. The group meet up again, all together as they cross the border of the town Jooheon had told them he got the house in. He still wouldn’t admit how he got it, but Changkyun figured it had to do with his whole mystic life. The sun is rising as they walk through the town. There are no fences, no soldiers, only peace officers. The market is opening and they walk through it, astounded at how polite and nice people were to them. Maybe this would be the new beginning they needed. 

The group makes their way up to their new home and Changkyun caught up with Kihyun, putting an arm around his shoulders.

“Are you ready to live our lives, with me?” Changkyun asks shyly.

“I’m all in, love, all of me, all in” Kihyun says back.


End file.
